Yesterday you asked me if it was if it is bad to be worried about your friends so much?
Well prune, there isn't a day that goes by when i am not worrying about you. Honestly i have no doubt in my mind if you where the older one, i would have followed you like a goose with broken wings. Separating from you has probably been one of the hardest emotional things Ive had to cope with. I was so shocked when i heard you where leaving that i didnt even have the words to convey to you how much i was hurt. Its stressful not being able to drive over to see you, or share good times with you on my birthdays. Its harder not being able to cry to you or come to you for a hug. Days that are suppose to be spent with a friend go by lonely, on these days all I can think about is your laughing face. Ive always thought of you as my "first love". People don't realize it unless its genuine, but you love a bestfriend almost the same as loving a man or woman. I've studied your facial expressions, and gestures and tone. Every contour of your face embedded in my mind, that when something really funny happens I can close my eyes and imagine you with me. I feel like we have had some of our strongest moments when we have shared silence. Weather it was a fun time, or a sad time, silence has untited us in moments that will out last a life time of words. Sometimes its hard for me to find words that would comfort you, but even so when your heart aches mine does too. I always wonder what you are going through, how your day has been, what you are thinking, if you really like studing (lol). Friendship is even like having kids. We watch each other grow and want the best for each other. We get upset with each other if we fail, or make mistakes, but then we leave each other breathless in awe when we have excelled and succeed. My feelings for you are self-less, I have always wanted better for you then i have wanted for myself. I think i know why that is though, its because secretly we see eachother as super heros. Inside I really admire and look up to you. The hardest part for me was letting go, being okay with the individuals that we became. Cutting the leash and letting life's experiences ingulp us into the world that we wanted to protect each other from. God gave us something really special, and i would be damned if i ever threw that away. Thank you for letting me be your best friend.
by the way prune be head strong, the fiesty little palm tiger i know you to be, dont let people take advantage of you, beware of wearing your vulnrabilities on your sleve, mask them the best you know how. Your family and friends over here all love you, and are here if you are lonely. Focus on yourself, Ill be waiting, come back to me a strong independent woman.