chill

Cucumber+Mayo

Today i shall make a cucumber and mayo sandwich
maybe to your ears thats ewww, but all i hear is YUM!!

1. get 2 slices of bread (you can toast them if you want, i dont)
2. cut some cucumber (for one regular sized sandwich slice you need 4 slices of cucumber per sandwich)
3. spread a little bit of some light mayo on your slices (both of them)
4. throw on that cucumber
5. bring both slices together sandwich style
BOTTA-BING BOTTA-BOOM
YUMM :)

(picture yet to come)

Make em', break em', then take em'

creativity needs a spark,
just tryna' set my mark...
High high as the sky can take me
in my mind i can be who ever i wanna be
A bird or a fly soaring gracefully threw the skys
I can be that crack head on the corner street
tryna' get my hustle working to my own beat
I can be that girl with a joint in my mouth
bubble head praising myself on how good i can work down south
I can be the quarter back of an all star foot ball team
boasting my ego every time the crowd screams
I can be that hoe fucking on porno tapes
having no shame in unavailing my drapes.
Or how about the miss know it all
Straight A's, reading in the library during study hall
I could be a chicken cooped up in my coop
so cluttered my legs are too large for me to move
I could be that fat ass sitting on a couch all day
licking the crumbs off my fingers after they been in the cookie tray
Or lemme be that skinny bitch
eating until i puke like a ugly leech
I could be that all time fake chick
fake nails, fake hair, fake eyes, fake tits
I could be that girl who doesn't even who i am
a follower never a leader is the way i glam

...
how should i end this?

Independent

Even if you didn’t love me, I would still be me

Even if you didn’t care, I would still do what makes me happy

Even if you disowned me I wouldn’t change or a give a damn.

Fact of the matter is I’m not that simple, I can’t change who I am.

Songs on my playlist translated...

rose
Vocals: ANNA inspi’ NANA (BLACK STONES)

When I was darkness at that time
With trembling lips in a corner of my room, I cry
The more I struggle, the more this wound pierces me
A broken promise hurt me

Nobody can save me
There’s only one God
my love seems to stop and split me

I need your love
I’m a broken rose
The scattering sadness, your song
my lonely life that has no whereabouts

I need your love
I’m a broken rose
Oh baby, help me from frozen pain
With your smile, your eyes, and sing me, just for me

I wanna need your love…
I’m a broken rose
I wanna need your love…

When you were with me at that time
I chased your shadow and ran barefooted, stop me
The more I close it up, the more complicated this love grows
kiss me slowly and tenderly

Nobody can save me
Like a frozen rose
I want to sleep tenderly, my tears

I need your love
I’m a broken rose
The sadness that withers and falls, my soul
the lonely little girl who crumbles

I need your love
I’m a broken rose
Oh baby, help me from frozen pain
With your smile, your eyes, and sing me, just for me

I wanna need your love…
I’m a broken rose
I wanna need your love…

I need your love
I’m a broken rose
The scattering sadness, your song
my lonely life that has no whereabouts

I need your love
I’m a broken rose
Oh baby, help me from frozen pain
With your smile, your eyes, and sing me, just for me

I wanna need your love…
I was a broken rose
I wanna need your love…

A little Pain
vocals: Oliva inspi' Reira (trapnest)

Travel to the moon
The dream where you first appeared fades out
The light of the star I longed for is taken away
The smile I had to forget in order to be strong, for sure
If we are together, we can take it back

Open your eyes,
I’m here waiting for you
There is a future different from now
I’m here waiting for you
And I continue screaming
The thread that binds our hearts together is pulling
To bring you by my side as before
No need to cry

Travel in silence
I extend my hand to feel you, yet
You’re so far away
That memory is etched within me
When I hear your voice as I close my eyes
Even a little pain is precious to me

See me now,
I’m here waiting for you
When I’m all alone being blown by the wind
I’m here waiting for you
I can see the entire sky

Truly inside my heart, my hands stretch out to protect
Your heart, until you come back
No need to cry

(Feel something, Feel nothing)
(Listen closely, listen closely)
Wide open ears
Disarm the dream tickler
In the constant moment
(You will find me where it’s quiet)
(Listen closely, listen closely)
Let the blood flow
Through all the spaces
Of the universe

Open your eyes,
I’m here waiting for you
There is a future different from now
I’m here waiting for you
And I continue screaming
The thread that binds our hearts together is pulling
To bring you by my side as before
No need to cry

(Listen closely, listen closely)
(Listen closely, listen closely)
(Listen closely, listen closely

Wish
vocals- Olivia inspi' Reira (Trapnest)

Vibrations you present
Startles my understanding
A challenge to my ordinary
Unusual to find such a special curiosity
I hold my breath to still the excitement

Can you feel it now?
Can you feel it now?
Parallel connection hiding out
Pulling on my heart
Pulling on my heart
Undisciplined eruption

Baby, I know it coming around
I'm totally upside down
I can't get it together to tell you what I feel
Baby, my wish on a wing
And I'll send it off to you
Switch to sensitivity
Follow the traces

I can't pull away from you
You steal all my attention
Sometimes too much that I feel empty
I have to fill it back up
So I can shine my brightest
It'll leak out further into your heart

Can you feel it now?
Can you feel it now?
My eyes link to your blink
Pulling on my heart
Pulling on my heart
Feeling me natural and extreme

Baby, my world is crumbling down
I'm totally upside down
My words are stuck inside of this stubborn heart
Baby, my wish on a wing
And I'll send it off to you
It floats in the air
Sorrowful without you

GLAMOROUS SKY
Lyrics: AI YAZAWA Translation: Jonathan Wu

I throw open the window and turn to the stormy DEEP SKY
AH and I look up...

“Is there any meaning to this repetative life?”
AH I shout...
JUMP OUT and GO
Wear & tear these ROCKING SHOES
A splashing PUDDLE
Flash Back!
You are CLEVER
AH, REMEMBER

I want to go back to that morning, so I cross the rainbow
In order to be in line for our dreams, we walk in these GLAMOROUS DAYS

“Is there no value in surrendering to love?”
AH I sigh...
SPIT OUT and GO
Booze & ROCK’N’ROLL
Breathing harder for the BATTLE
Flash Back!
Your FLAVOR
AH REMEMBER

I want to decorate my heart, with these stars I gathered
In order to tie our dreams together, we dance in these GLAMOROUS DAYS

I can’t sleep!

SUNDAY, MONDAY
FLAHS OF THUNDER, TUESDAY
WEDNESDAY THURSDAY
Snowcrystals...
FRIDAY SATURDAY
Rainbow-colors EVERYDAY
the FULL MOON disappears at random
They answer me, in my own voice

I want to illuminate your future, so I whipe away the clouds for you
As I embrace the dream, I keep walking in these GLORIOUS DAYS

I want to go back to that morning, so I cross the rainbow
In order to be in line for our dreams, we walk in these GLAMOROUS DAYS

GLAMOROUS SKY...

Strict to another level

If you have Indian friends or you are Indian you know exactly what road I'm heading down. When I was in high school and still even now my parents are strict. Not nearly as strict as some other peoples parents but, they can pretty much be classified in the same group. Growing up in my parents house our (mine and my sisters') curfew was 7 o'clock, well, dinner time. After dinner there was no going out. I don't know why but i always found it in my self to want to break every rule i could. Like i started cursing around my parents long before i even can remember. Not because i disrespect my parents i mean i don't curse AT them but i do curse around them. I just knew they had no control over what was coming out of my mouth. I think i have a compulsive disorder to just be bad and be out of rhythm from everyone else around me. It drives me insane to be grouped with other people. I scream for originality. But for real, i used to sneak out of the window like at 12 in the morning and go party or just hang out. I used to skip school, write my own excused absent sheets, I had boyfriends that my mom knew of. (OMG haha) I was so bad, but not even. I was just living it i guess. I love my parents to death. When i think about it, they really aren't that bad, i mean they never really yelled at me till i dyed my hair blond. Now I'm just a beautiful disaster. Deep down inside i just wanted them to accept me, to this day i still try my best to be acknowledged by them in a positive way... i wonder if my efforts will always fail.

(picture is deff coming for this one)
ps. i have a vision :)

Amber

I got this really hot ring from prune the other day on her bday, i totally love it, i think its totally me! Even though it is too big for me i wear it everyday :) Thanks pootska!! :)

Ummm okay so!?

Is it really that weird that i take pictures of my self posing in front of a mirror?? I guess i never really thought of it as a weird thing, but some people recently have told me that its kind of conceited of me... I dont think i am full of my self, i really wish i could model sometimes but i really dont have what it takes, and my parents where never ever down with that. I think i was always suppose to be a model though, did you know when i was younger my mom was asked to put me in huggies commercials? Of course my mom said hellz to the nizzal, and kept her walk on. Sucks for me i guess. I look at my photographs as more of an art than a picture of myself. Its a moment of high concentration where i am capturing the very moment i am becoming this captured art. Isnt that interesting rather than conceited? Who knows... but honestly im really not that full of myself, hence my insecurities. BLAH screw you people who dont understand art!

my new hair (again)

inappropriate? yeah i hope so :)

haha i got my new favorite pair of shorts at target! and i got a new bathing suit! :)

Sunday Night Boogie Woogie

So some of my favorite people in the whole world came to visit me Sunday night. Even though i was EXHAUSTED I had a WONDERFUL time with them. We Drank, We laughed, Jon even dropped the L-bomb... it was a good night! We stayed up till 5am, and got up Monday morning at 10ish. We went to IHOP after that and ate some YUMMY food. Jon had someones convertible so me and the girls where chillen with the sun beaming warm on our skins, wind in our hair. I loved it, it totally brought me back to high school when i didnt care about anything. It was such a carefree day, with good friends, and no worries. AHHHH loved it wish summer brings more of

these days!

Imperfections

I hate the way i have an arch on the top of my nose, is that weird that i would consider asking a doctor to break my nose for one that's straight. One day when i was in 3rd grade an ass hole pointed to me while brushing his finger down his nose making a lump at the top saying "Ah-Allegra" Is that why it bothers me so much?

I hate how my tooth sticks out, its so un attractive in pictures, for a long time when i was young and in school people used to pick on me because of that, is that why i hate it?

I feel like my hair is too short and my eyes are too small, i feel like my cheek bones aren't visible enough and my face is too round. I feel like i have man hands, and my shoulders are to broad, my arms are too fat and my boobs are too small. My belly button looks like a cats nose and i have no hips, im square in the waist and i am too stocky for my height. My knees look like a horrific case of elephantitis and if only i had ankles and not kankles. My feet are too big too fat, too flat. This is what i see when i look in a mirror, when i read it to myself, i feel sick to my stomach, am i really this sick in the head? I need to take it easy, take it easy...

I wish i was strong enough to convince myself that all these things just make me... ME... but somewhere in my messed up head, there is an imbalance that screams out my insecurities. I have to be stronger than my own "Jet-eye mind tricks"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY POOTSKA AND AUNTY SHAIKHUM!!

(pictures to be uploaded soon)

My 1 hour jog

Okay so, since the wonderful Mina-Lo has been jogging her 3miles, i decided why dont i have a stab at jogging AND OMG YOU GUYS, my endurance has gone from Zer0 to 60... I pretty much jogged at a constant 5.0 speed on the tread for a good 20 min until my legs where going every which ways. That might sound like its not that good but for someone who couldnt even jog for one minute straight, im climbing the ropes! Seriously though Im really proud of myself even if no body else gives a shit! F*you im bout to be Sex-IE lol. I do need to cool it for a day though, my left knee is giving me some pain, sharp pain right underneth my patel-a, ella ella ella :)

I did a little bit of weight training today, i guess you could say today was my SUPER work out day, but non the least the last 4 days for me have been SUPER work out days.

I was really really really happy for my self yesteday i did the whole Legs and Back X video, with out any extra breaks than what Tony gave us. GAAAA THANK YOU TONY HORTON!!!! lol

Like Tony says, I hate it but I LOVE IT!

xoxo my pretties :)
maybe if i get most of my Acct. stuff done ill take some AMAZING pictures dont qoute me to that though, if not tomorrow should be a good day for lots of pictures, my BFF prune is back, and i cant wait to see her! WELCOME HOME POOTSKA!!!

Life can be..

Life can be so stressful when you realize that a single day doesnt contain enough time to meet all the deadlines. Life can be so stressful when your vegetarian and a picky eater, and realize that you only eat salad and protein to make end meet. I would stab myself to death if i plateau... I will NOT accept defeat... Yes i have upgraded to the new and improved Umi-San 10.0 :)