education really is inspiring me


my kisses are blinding baby

happy anniversary honey bob :) mauhz

Some one Remind me, ahhhh!

Sometimes i really wonder why i am writing blog entries, and when i think about it its really gay that i even do this. But then im like, well i do it for my self, so that when time passes by i can look back on this and be like oh this is what i was thinking and feeling at this point in time. And then i think about it an im like well i do it for the people that care. The people that i cant talk to everyday, the people that are like me and can share a common interest with what im saying and feeling. And then i think more into it and i do it because sometimes im better at writing things then saying them. And sometimes i write things that i should never work to someone, so just write them and its easier. I think i really do find an easy escape with writing down my thoughts, and its easy. Most of the time i have to think about it, like OHHHH what am i gonna blog about today... boo this is so lame, but lately ive been finding a lot of optimism tucked under my pillow, and that makes this whole writing thing SOOOO easy. I still have off days, and im sure everyone does its human nature right? but i seriously feel like this year is going to be the make it year for me, in a sense that a lot of things will be turned around for me.

I know that because early this year i already broke A LOT of bad habits. I learned to except things and be okay with a lot of things that have turned out to be different then what i expected. Reconciling with those feelings and thoughts have really been almost a sort of enlightenment for me. Being able to say "its okay" and really matching my inside with whats coming out has been a break through with moving on to better things in life. I'm genuinely happy with what i dont have evenly with what i do have. Its really reassuring. I think half of it is just voicing it all to zain even if i feel like he wouldn't understand, he does, and when i say it right it makes me feel confident with things being just the way they are and I can settle with reality. Im looking forward to the future, and see myself and the people around me equally happy, and to me this is the best motivation to wake up to every morning till that time comes.

Im going to try to keep up with my happy go lucky attitude (that is until someone pisses me off) but till then im definitely delighted to be optimistic!


class class class

im totally feeling good about classes this semester, did i already mention that??

The only real class that i am worried about is stats, but im sure i can manage since we dont have shit loads of homework.

i miss the mutt


traffic seems to be my new morning buddy



Eww i took NO EXPLOD on Sunday before the gym and i felt like jello, mind you i didnt sleep that night and it made me wanna throw up!! :/
no more N.O. for me!!

Work outs are going well, im able to run for 30 min straight now, so thats promising, gonna try me best to keep pushing through, im slowly starting p90 back up, hopefully i can stay strong and stop getting discouraged by not being able to get through a whole video. I can hear it wispering though that my time to succeed is inching up really really slowly :) and that makes me happy.

I miss Aden Raj and his mommy and daddy.

My parents are going to india, thank god!


The new Gym and working out

Me and Zain finally got the chance to go to the new gym today. I must say i am pretty impressed. They have like 4 pools and plenty of machines, indoor everything you could think of, and an indoor rock climbing thing. I went for a little but and i think i am pretty proud to say that i am slowly but surly meeting my goals :)

Other then that classes have been good, pretty laid back so far. I figure if i can stay focused in class and do my homework the same day that i get it while everything is fresh in my head i should do fine this semester. After my adviser pretty much called me incapable of being smart enough im convinced to show her that isnt the case. I really just am not motivated. But i think i have decided to just look at it as an accomplishment more than anything. Its not really a complete waste, this is just something that i can do, and then get out of and say yeah i did college. So i guess thats where i am with all this right now and i think i am good with that. content really.

Lately my hip has been really hurting but i guess its okay. Zain says i just need to stretch but i think im convinced that since my legs arent the same length or whatever i was suppose to get corrected when i was younger is coming back to haunt me. I cant believe im stuck at school today till 10pm.

Alright well over and out i need to find something that will occupy me for the next hour since my next class is at 5:30.


All the things yall missed! :)

Skiing & Snowboarding
Wintergreen Resort, VA

my japanese classes

Okay so these classes that i am taking on manga bullet are totally awsome!!

I just wanna take some time out to thank the Japanese Language Club founders and helpers!! What you guys are providing for the public is really an amazing thing!!

I feel like i am really a part of something and that makes me feel really happy and special!!

I think its so sad how my japanese handwriting looks neater then my english.. wtf!?

okay so...

so a lot has happened since the last time I blogged, crazy because it's only been two weeks past since but for a quick synopsis of what's happened:
1. Me and zain went snowboarding and skiing
2. I decided I'll graduate with the minimums and get outta here
3. I am keeping up with my work outs
4. Timir's getting married (o_o) totally took me by surprise!
5. I finally got the balls to get outta bed and meet my adviser
6. My life plan is coming together beautifully
7. Me and zain went to bells island with Sarah and Ryan
8. I got really good vitamins from the vitamin shoppe
9. I got black touch up paint for my car finally...
10. I was called all the way home for one day to deliver mangoes wtf
11. I finished playing drakes adventures, and assassins creed
12.I bought a wii
13. Aden raj got to stream live on web cam to Poland and Detroit
14. I finally decided I may as well come 110% clean with my mom and dad about zain because he is the person that I want to be with for the rest of my life (^_^)
15. I am learning Japanese on www.mangabullet.com all on my own and I'm pumped about it lol
16. Me and zain have been having good days together lately, but he punched me in my sleep (it was an accident) :)
17. I got a 87.7 in my intersession marketing class
18. I finally gave up my blackberry and all the pictures and contacts up to my dad :/
19. (-3*) im only taking 12 credit hours, so i have no excuse but to do good, and she said i can graduate next year spring 2011, not bad im just a year off. but im going to email her and ask her if i HAVE to do a major like she was talking about or if i could just do a business foundation and call it fucking day.
20. I am reading a new manga well 3 new mangas.

yep when I think about it it's been a pretty productive last two weeks. All righty then, i think i might go to the new vcu gym today to check it out, i haven't decided yet but we will see. I'm super hungry and yeah.

My classes are as followed
Monday - 9:00-9:50am
Tuesday- 9:30- 10:45am, 5:30- 6:45pm
Wednesday - 9:00- 9:50am
Thursday- 9:30-10:45am, 5:30- 6:45pm, 7:00- 9:40pm
Friday- 9:00- 9:50am


thank god!

So the little guys finally at home, and honestly i feel pretty bad for my sister. It sucks that she is the eldest, and i thank god that by the time its my turn to get married and have kids its going to be OLD news (to my parent anyways). I don't feel left out though because ill be getting that same treatment from zains family since he is the eldest. Anyways hes just been home for a couple hours and bhavnas already here with her stank ass family talking all loud and annoying the dog... Im highly annoyed and don't understand why my parents are showing him off like some sort of trophy, i guess in a way in not surprised they do that with the poor dog too. I really don't understand how all these unhealthy people have all these diagnosis for my sister. Eating Ghee and flour IS NOT going help your body bounce back AT ALL. If i eat bad even one day i feel like crap all day... I gotta have my salad and fruits and shit i don't know it is what it is. Eat healthy feel healthy recovery quickly. Damn that woman and her laugh...

Im seriously ready to go back to Richmond, im tired of everyone barking out commands to me. I cant even eat a meal with out someone telling me to get up and do my next task. I mean seriously can i eat and breath for a little. I really just want to go jogging its all i can even think about. My parents are so annoying, i hope i live far away from here when i have a kid. I dont know why i like to isolate my self, honestly but maybe its because i know that people treat me differently then they treat my sister. Id much rather do it my way, and i hate all the false accusations and bullshit they throw at me even though im not doing anything. I miss zain and i just wanna sit there and cry to him, i dont know why i feel so depressed but i just wanna be away from here. I really wish he would have come by to say hello.

I cant even go to the fucking gym without people asking me a hundred and twenty questions I'm so fucking annoyed. I cant even eat when im hungry because there is no fucking room in the refrigerator for my food because its filled with 2 month old left overs. I really dont get my mom and her backward ways. She pushes ALL the work onto other people and my dad wants someone else to suffer when he has to do something. I dont understand why EVERY single task in this house to be shared, why everyone cant just do their own work. I just dont get it at all. Im completely frustrated, i don't wanna hear from anyone, i just wanna turn my phone off lay back and forget it all... i think im actually starting to regret a lot of things

My baby Nephew is going to be a handsome little fella. I already feel sorry for him, but hell... maybe he will love them more than he loves me and our personalities will completely clash, who knows... i guess i should just keep my hopes up and just give him the best gifts of all, memories.


Baby Aden Raj Khan


The text message/call ive been waiting for

"My water broke"

:) im going to the hospital at noon to see my beautiful nephew be born


more class


class class class


Happy New Year