Sometimes i really wonder why i am writing blog entries, and when i think about it its really gay that i even do this. But then im like, well i do it for my self, so that when time passes by i can look back on this and be like oh this is what i was thinking and feeling at this point in time. And then i think about it an im like well i do it for the people that care. The people that i cant talk to everyday, the people that are like me and can share a common interest with what im saying and feeling. And then i think more into it and i do it because sometimes im better at writing things then saying them. And sometimes i write things that i should never work to someone, so just write them and its easier. I think i really do find an easy escape with writing down my thoughts, and its easy. Most of the time i have to think about it, like OHHHH what am i gonna blog about today... boo this is so lame, but lately ive been finding a lot of optimism tucked under my pillow, and that makes this whole writing thing SOOOO easy. I still have off days, and im sure everyone does its human nature right? but i seriously feel like this year is going to be the make it year for me, in a sense that a lot of things will be turned around for me.
I know that because early this year i already broke A LOT of bad habits. I learned to except things and be okay with a lot of things that have turned out to be different then what i expected. Reconciling with those feelings and thoughts have really been almost a sort of enlightenment for me. Being able to say "its okay" and really matching my inside with whats coming out has been a break through with moving on to better things in life. I'm genuinely happy with what i dont have evenly with what i do have. Its really reassuring. I think half of it is just voicing it all to zain even if i feel like he wouldn't understand, he does, and when i say it right it makes me feel confident with things being just the way they are and I can settle with reality. Im looking forward to the future, and see myself and the people around me equally happy, and to me this is the best motivation to wake up to every morning till that time comes.
Im going to try to keep up with my happy go lucky attitude (that is until someone pisses me off) but till then im definitely delighted to be optimistic!