First and for most

Today's song - Sara Bareilles-GRAVITY (2003) album: Careful Confessions

Recent Artists that beat to the rhythm of my heart (harmony):
Missy Higgins
Yael Naim
Ingrid Michaelson
A Fine Frenzy
Norah Jones
Etta James
Kate Nash
Corinne Bailey Rae
Lily Allen
John Mayer
Lauryn Hill
Jason Mraz
Amy Winehouse

Working with all males and being the only female has turned out to be almost the same exact as working with all females but instead of talking about things like shopping, and classes, I'm stuck listening to conversations about military, and guns. I don't mind at all actually i would rather learn a thing or two about things i really don't have a clue about. I mean i have gone shooting before, and i like it, but i cant say that i know much about guns. Actually it kinda took me off guard that just about all of my group members own a gun. I would have to say though, men and women are the exact same when it comes to bad mouthing on another. I have tried to stay neutral with the things i say about people. Honestly i see both sides of the story most of the time. For instance there is this one guy in our group that pretty aloof and immediately he comes off as if he doesn't care to most, but for some reason i can relate myself to him a lot more than the other people. An example, Guy A said I am going to love my job, it will never feel like something i don't want to do (or something like that, and to me I'm just like ahhhh someone that feels like me) when Guy B says A job will always just end up a job, its fun in the beginning and then it sucks. Realistically i guess but when you have so many choices in life why would you ever settle for something you don't enjoy doing. I think its hilarious how these "grown" men talk about each other. I haven't said anything that i didn't feel. At one point i felt really annoyed because i felt like i was being told what to do. I didn't appreciate being called on a Saturday night to do something right away. I didn't even appreciate feeling like i was being cornered. But through it all I never really said anything BAD about someone. I mean some of these MEN have ruthless things to say about each other, calling someone an idiot, is a very disrespectful thing to do. I honestly cant say that any of my group members are idiots, everyone has different views and i think each person has a story. I wouldn't bash someone because they are a dreamer, i am a dreamer too and i wouldn't bow down to anyone who has settled for a mundane life.

I always thought of myself as a pretty well rounded person. I mean for the most part, Ive been there and done that, except for drugs. I always feel like i am being cocky when i am giving advice to people. I don't know why but i feel really uncomfortable giving people advise even though i know that they would maybe appreciate it. I guess it saddens me to see people hurt, but then again its a cycle, after the hurt you come out the person that your meant to be, and that's how life works. Its beneficial to suffer emotionally to learn and mold into a better person, no advise can have the same affect then cause and effect of living life. It is what it is right?

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