Im so glad i never got addicted to any of the above, Honestly i wish i was smarter than i really am, than i really act. I know people say that its righteous to do this and not do that, but what really is right from wrong? I seriously don't think anything is really BAD unless what you are do is directly negatively effecting someone else.
The weeks been long, With Zain out of town and the semester coming to an end, Ive been pulling my hair out to make ends meet. I never realized how attached i get to everyday life. I don't cope well with change at all. I never really realized that until Zain left and then i ended up having to keep my self occupied. It wasn't that bad because i did have my work outs keeping me busy, right along with school. Yesterday talking to pooja i realized how pessimistic my thoughts really are. Or maybe i was just surprised that she is REALLY optimistic. Maybe she is just a stronger person than i. Or maybe I'm the first real person that has come by her. I guess i just don't believe in sugar coating shit. The way i look at it is, if life should be worth living and there is a good, powerful god up there, then why is there disease, why is there starvation, why are these hoes catching aids and spreading it like wild fire. I seriously don't see how life is heavenly at all, rather i see this as our time served in hell, yet god shows us hope through nature. People who can find beauty in the world around them are really blessed. There is so much more to life then
I also realized how passive i really am, how quickly i get over things, how carefree i have really become. I am so surprised. I used to get upset just about everything.