1.09.2010

thank god!

So the little guys finally at home, and honestly i feel pretty bad for my sister. It sucks that she is the eldest, and i thank god that by the time its my turn to get married and have kids its going to be OLD news (to my parent anyways). I don't feel left out though because ill be getting that same treatment from zains family since he is the eldest. Anyways hes just been home for a couple hours and bhavnas already here with her stank ass family talking all loud and annoying the dog... Im highly annoyed and don't understand why my parents are showing him off like some sort of trophy, i guess in a way in not surprised they do that with the poor dog too. I really don't understand how all these unhealthy people have all these diagnosis for my sister. Eating Ghee and flour IS NOT going help your body bounce back AT ALL. If i eat bad even one day i feel like crap all day... I gotta have my salad and fruits and shit i don't know it is what it is. Eat healthy feel healthy recovery quickly. Damn that woman and her laugh...

Im seriously ready to go back to Richmond, im tired of everyone barking out commands to me. I cant even eat a meal with out someone telling me to get up and do my next task. I mean seriously can i eat and breath for a little. I really just want to go jogging its all i can even think about. My parents are so annoying, i hope i live far away from here when i have a kid. I dont know why i like to isolate my self, honestly but maybe its because i know that people treat me differently then they treat my sister. Id much rather do it my way, and i hate all the false accusations and bullshit they throw at me even though im not doing anything. I miss zain and i just wanna sit there and cry to him, i dont know why i feel so depressed but i just wanna be away from here. I really wish he would have come by to say hello.

I cant even go to the fucking gym without people asking me a hundred and twenty questions I'm so fucking annoyed. I cant even eat when im hungry because there is no fucking room in the refrigerator for my food because its filled with 2 month old left overs. I really dont get my mom and her backward ways. She pushes ALL the work onto other people and my dad wants someone else to suffer when he has to do something. I dont understand why EVERY single task in this house to be shared, why everyone cant just do their own work. I just dont get it at all. Im completely frustrated, i don't wanna hear from anyone, i just wanna turn my phone off lay back and forget it all... i think im actually starting to regret a lot of things

My baby Nephew is going to be a handsome little fella. I already feel sorry for him, but hell... maybe he will love them more than he loves me and our personalities will completely clash, who knows... i guess i should just keep my hopes up and just give him the best gifts of all, memories.

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